Sasha and Coco

"I'm telling you, no matter what clothes I wear, he just won't look at me!" Sasha b*tches to her friend Coco on her iCRAPhone.  "I know he loves sportswear and crazy about the 80's, so today, I had on this really sexy Nike tank with a pink headband and a mini vest.  And you know that funky two-toned leggings we got the other day at I.T. and those baggy sandals?  Yes, mega-hotness!  But he still won't turn his head!!"  Sasha's boyfriend continues to stare blankly ahead, trying to avoid her rapid gunfire...  "Why don't you just pose like a ballerina in front of him?  Guys dig that!"  Coco advises as she rummages through the Mercibeaucoup sales rack.  "Oooh, oooh, I think it's working, he's slightly turning his head!  You're a genius, girl!"



Vintage Misinterpretation

People often overuse terms like "cool", "awesome", "nice", etc, to generalize things that are, well, nice, awesome and cool.  HK Fashion Police noticed a new generic term in town - "VINTAGE"!  With everyone obsessing about wine tasting classes and with wine knowledge becoming a symbol of sophistication and power to attract the opposite sex, we wonder if this word in the wine context has somehow transferred itself to the sophisticated HK fashion world.

A perfect example is demonstrated by this Adidas Lookbook of our "favourite" Hilary Tsui!  Tsui described her style in this look to be "vintage".  Now according to Wikipedia, vintage clothing is a generic term for new or second-hand garments originating from a previous era.  Or according to Oxford Dictionary, "vintage" denotes something from the past of high quality. 

Let's observe this "vintage" look:  First, the look does not look entirely second-hand.  Second, we do not believe dropped crotch was anything close to any clothing from the past of high quality.  Okay, maybe it is borderline "vintage" of Hammer times, but we are sure this is not of any high quality.  The whole look deemed itself more "2000's trash" than "vintage"...

Next in line we have Sogo's recent "vintage" promotion:

What do you think?  We agree cowboy clothing can be considered "vintage".  However, this weird juxtaposition of cowboy and kintergarten sing-a-long setting with a pretty western lady in fancy modern dress just confuses the hell out of us!  Never mind, ladies in town will still flock into the most popular Japanese department store for deals and items that are simply "OH-SO-VINTAGE"!!

Hong Kong Super Moms

Halloween is 2 months away but eager parents in Hong Kong are already getting themselves prepped for the big day!  What better way to practise walking in clumsy costumes and hoarding bags of sweets than cruising around crowded TST and Causeway Bay in eye-popping clothing with shopping and trendy bags?

This trendy mama was playing mix-n-match with sailor-style top and colorful patterned socks that were a hit amongst chic guys last year.  To prove she was a mama of action, she carried a X-Game bag to show she was ready for the Halloween challenge!

 

This other lady was spotted rushing around Causeway on a mad dash to finish shopping for the kids in ridiculously colorful clown costume.  "The key is to run fast, attract attention and carry as much candy bags as you can," she told Fashion Police,  "if two hands are not enough, these pants got plenty of room for extra candies!"  Boy, are we jealous of their kids!  What talented mamas!

 

Hey, they can even save money hiring clowns for their kids' birthday parties next year!  We know Hong Kong mama's are not only practical but multi-talented!  Hong Kong super moms, we salute!

Cartoon Throwbacks!

As recession looms ahead, poor Hong Kongers struggle to stay alive in the aggressive fashion battlefield.  As Heidi Klum says, "In fashion, one day you're in, the next day you're out!"  What can ladies do to stay trendy, young and gorgeous without spending too much?  Forget about botox and plastic surgery, we can barely afford our own homes and the boys are too busy on their iCrap iPhones anyway to notice... Forget about I.T. or L.V, we've already spent our remaining cash on the yearly iCrap iPhones...

These two ladies have set perfect examples on how we can remain hot and sexy with minimal cost.  They presented amazing skills in looking extra young by impersonating the nostalgic Smurfs and Teletubbies characters!  

 

 

So there we have HOPE!  Next time if you're a little short on cash, just flip through your old VHS for inspiration.  I'm sure all iCrap iPhone-obsessed sheeple will turn their heads!

Leopard at Ritz Carlton

"Hmmm... what should I wear to high tea at the high-class newly-opened Ritz Carlton in town?  This is such an important event that I must wear my top-notch, 'screaming-look-at-me' trendy clothing and footwear that everyone envies!  I simply cannot be discrete about it and must draw attention to myself.  Hmmm... must consult the fashionistas in town!"

"I totally dig Hilary and her friends' fashion style!  This whole lineup is simply MARVELOUS!  I need to remind myself to get that 'I'M NOT A LABEL WHORE!' t-shirt next time I'm in I.T./Izzue!  That will be soooo fun if I wore that on my next shopping trip!  LOL!"  

"OMG!!  There are too many choices, but I think I can never go wrong with the Queen of Fashionistas in Hong Kong - Hilary!  Just look at her stylish hairstyle that matches perfectly with her fiesty leopard one-piece!  I can totally get that look!  With my white MBT sandals that fashionistas worship in town, everyone in the Ritz would want to line up to kiss my matching black toenails!"

"Ta-da!  You see, I totally glow like shiny gold in front of the greeters at the Ritz.  Honey is oh sooo proud!"

The Black Troopers

Watch out, people!  The Black Troopers are here!  They are swift!  They are cool!  and oh yes, they are trendsetters of the UNIVERSE!  Are they the "designers" lot?  The I.T. sales lot?  The goth lot?  Or the Dog The Bounty Hunter lot?  God knows... 

These troopers stormed Harbor City as jaw-dropped crowds made way for them during lunch rush hour.  Nobody could stop them to hunt...

... bargains at the trendy LCX!

Bucket Sandals

Ranking close to MBT in the list of fierce shoes in recent years are the baggy-wide-mouth-bucket sandals.  Not only are they flattering in attempting to make your legs look extra skinny, but they also make you extra agile!  Imagine mastering the art of walking in buckets, which is way superior than running in 3-inch high heels!  No wonder admirer of all HK ladies, Ms Chan Ho-Wan, flaunted her white bucket sandals with another one of her million million-dollar-Hermes bags as well, making her look extra fierce!

They even come in a variety of choices:

From space-ship style...

To flower-pot/vase style...

Why not try combat-cheapo style now that we'll soon be in budget-cut combat mode...

And hey, with the world going crazy with riots, it won't hurt hiding a buck or two in them shoes for emergencies!