Human Drapery

The neighbor's laundry goes flapping in the fierce wind on this typhoon day in Hong Kong, inspiring HK Fashion Police to comment on the loose-fitting drapery-style clothing spotted on many ladies in town...

"Once upon a time, women were bounded by those god-forbid hip-hugging sexy dresses and jeans, corsets and the lot, that demonstrate the beauty of the female body.  Time is different now, let's liberate, girlfriends!  Let's get loose!  The hell with being pretty and sexy, we just want to look comfortable, trendy, and 'drapery'!" Chants Lucy, President of the Hong Kong Association for Womens Drapery Clothing (HKAWDC).  "The time to act is now!  Trash all your fitting clothes!  Pull down the curtains, make them into trendy clothings!  Let's make a mark!"

With the success of HKAWDC, scores of women in town make their statement by wearing loose-fitting drapery-style pieces.  The effect is unprecedented.  Indecent behaviour on the MTR dropped to an all-time low.  Men in town no longer have the temptation to even look at women.  Women feel safe like never before!  HKADC is currently running another program for men's drapery clothing, guys, you better watch out!

Sasha and Coco

"I'm telling you, no matter what clothes I wear, he just won't look at me!" Sasha b*tches to her friend Coco on her iCRAPhone.  "I know he loves sportswear and crazy about the 80's, so today, I had on this really sexy Nike tank with a pink headband and a mini vest.  And you know that funky two-toned leggings we got the other day at I.T. and those baggy sandals?  Yes, mega-hotness!  But he still won't turn his head!!"  Sasha's boyfriend continues to stare blankly ahead, trying to avoid her rapid gunfire...  "Why don't you just pose like a ballerina in front of him?  Guys dig that!"  Coco advises as she rummages through the Mercibeaucoup sales rack.  "Oooh, oooh, I think it's working, he's slightly turning his head!  You're a genius, girl!"



Vintage Misinterpretation

People often overuse terms like "cool", "awesome", "nice", etc, to generalize things that are, well, nice, awesome and cool.  HK Fashion Police noticed a new generic term in town - "VINTAGE"!  With everyone obsessing about wine tasting classes and with wine knowledge becoming a symbol of sophistication and power to attract the opposite sex, we wonder if this word in the wine context has somehow transferred itself to the sophisticated HK fashion world.

A perfect example is demonstrated by this Adidas Lookbook of our "favourite" Hilary Tsui!  Tsui described her style in this look to be "vintage".  Now according to Wikipedia, vintage clothing is a generic term for new or second-hand garments originating from a previous era.  Or according to Oxford Dictionary, "vintage" denotes something from the past of high quality. 

Let's observe this "vintage" look:  First, the look does not look entirely second-hand.  Second, we do not believe dropped crotch was anything close to any clothing from the past of high quality.  Okay, maybe it is borderline "vintage" of Hammer times, but we are sure this is not of any high quality.  The whole look deemed itself more "2000's trash" than "vintage"...

Next in line we have Sogo's recent "vintage" promotion:

What do you think?  We agree cowboy clothing can be considered "vintage".  However, this weird juxtaposition of cowboy and kintergarten sing-a-long setting with a pretty western lady in fancy modern dress just confuses the hell out of us!  Never mind, ladies in town will still flock into the most popular Japanese department store for deals and items that are simply "OH-SO-VINTAGE"!!

Hong Kong Super Moms

Halloween is 2 months away but eager parents in Hong Kong are already getting themselves prepped for the big day!  What better way to practise walking in clumsy costumes and hoarding bags of sweets than cruising around crowded TST and Causeway Bay in eye-popping clothing with shopping and trendy bags?

This trendy mama was playing mix-n-match with sailor-style top and colorful patterned socks that were a hit amongst chic guys last year.  To prove she was a mama of action, she carried a X-Game bag to show she was ready for the Halloween challenge!

 

This other lady was spotted rushing around Causeway on a mad dash to finish shopping for the kids in ridiculously colorful clown costume.  "The key is to run fast, attract attention and carry as much candy bags as you can," she told Fashion Police,  "if two hands are not enough, these pants got plenty of room for extra candies!"  Boy, are we jealous of their kids!  What talented mamas!

 

Hey, they can even save money hiring clowns for their kids' birthday parties next year!  We know Hong Kong mama's are not only practical but multi-talented!  Hong Kong super moms, we salute!