Drop the Crotch, And You'll Feeeeel Alriiiiight

The dropped crotch look really took off in Asia, I might add - like a fish to water, or more appropriately, like a giant steaming turd in spandex pants. Like most things in Hong Kong, where time is a bit timid to move beyond the 1980s, the latest trends from the west seemed to get lost at sea on the way here, but on this little piece of the east, people are so eager to lap up new shit to lift their meagre soggy wet tissue lives out of the boring mundane, that they often overlook the fact that most of the imported clothing and styles are pulled straight from the west's dumpster - the one with the overbearing pink neon 'FAIL' sign that morphs into a nightmarish caricature of Richard Simmons inserting his manhood repeatedly into a used shampoo bottle.

With so many large-scale retailers ever ready to exploit the naivety of Hong Kong people who have more money than you can shake a stick at, all they have to do is sponsor a few HK 'celebs' to wear and promote the white man's cast offs on the TVB television show 'Dolce Vita', and Bob's your uncle - hordes of mindless 'must look fab' fashionistas packing the stores and unloading their credit cards. Doesn't matter if it doesn't look good, it's expensive and it's new, and it's all the rage, and people buying lots of this stuff like crack - status crack - wear it, and feel rich - this is money converted into clothing, if money could become clothing, this is what it would look like ... drop crotch pants.

Jake Chan, he loves to park and sit in his fancy sports car, with the engine running, in crowded areas of town because it makes his man thing feel BIG. He drives past a group of people, and overhears, "wow, that guy must be compensating for something ..." Jake couldn't sleep for a week, he began to question the size of his manhood - it didn't help that he had a small pee-pee.

"What am I to do?" he said to himself while driving back to his cramped living quarters at Legende Royale ('everyday is a celebration of life') ... then he saw it, in the shop display window, behind a wall of shoppers who had been forced to queue outside the exclusively exclusive and empty store for absolutely no reason - DROPPED CROTCH PANTS - TO HIDE YOUR SMALL PEE PEE.

And then of course, there are the wannabes, people who are perpetually unhappy because they can't afford to have the luxury of bad taste. This guy (left pic) proves that you can recreate high class designer fashion just by rifling through your mum's wardrobe and the rubbish bin of a dead junkie. Now he can get into Lan Kwai Fong clubs like Drop without needing Li Ka-shing or a caucasian to accompany him.